I am growing up in the Pink world. I had never been able to flirt with a boy/man. Yesterday I did...with a cab driver.

Before this I would always find my prey on my bed...not that they were waiting for me there. They just happened to share bed with me and I took advantage of the situation.

A few times when I decided to talk my mind to a guy, I just wouldn't find the right words.

Surprisingly I did this time. However, I didn't succeed at my efforts in the end. Still I like to think of the entire episode.

I was late from office and boss suggested that I take a cab. He was a jat but I didn't notice until he went down to pee at Dhaula Kuan. The force of his pee on the ground took my attention. Then and there, I made up my mind to take him to bed.

He took his seat by the steering and I began my task.

"It's getting cold now"

Yes, he told.

"Ghar me biwi ho to thandi se acchi mausam nahi hai"

"Why aren't you married yet", he asked.

"Arre kahan...aapki ho gayi shadi".

My past experiences have shown that it's really easy to prey on men who are eagerly waiting to be married or living apart from family for long. So this question was important. And his answer was really disappointing.

"Yes, I am married...but my family is back in the village."

Oh some ray of hope.

"Toh thand katna toh bahut difficult hota hoga"

He smiled.

And then I threw some arrows on target.

"Kuch aisa waisa shauk to rakhte hoge time katne ke liye".

I couldn't believe myself. Is it me?

Main samjha nahi! Kaise shauk?

Arre, women or may be boys. Haven't you tried with boys at the place you stay?

He got embarrassed.

No, he blurted.

Hey, I have heard that Jats are too hot. Is that correct?

He didn't answer.

Haven't you ever tried with boys?

He didn't answer again.

With your kind of physique any boy will be ready to do with you...me too.

I had finally talked my mind. And I saw him checking me on the mirror intently...for a second... and then he just started driving.

What was that reaction? I just couldn't decipher. Would he or wouldn't he answer to my desires.

I was getting anxious by now. My destination was coming near and I wanted him to answer fast...very fast. Because now my voice was shivering and I was shivering too.

He didn't talk. I too didn't talk to him, just that he switch off the AC because I was really feeling hot after that hot spurt of testosterone.

He dropped me at my house and I paid him. At night I jerked myself thinking of him. sometimes failures too are too enticing to think of.

R is the new man in my life. Most probably meeting him tomorrow.

haven't met him yet, but his talks gives me a thrill.

J called after a long time and then he asked if I am free...free in the sense that their are no sex partners as of now.

Nah, I told. He knows everything about the no boyfriend thing and still fakes ignorance.

And then he told me about R, who he has slept with, and asked me if I would be ready to sleep with R.

certainly dear...I can no longer starve for sex and will do it with the ugliest of persons.

He is not ugly. in fact a punjabi that he is, you will actually enjoy; J ensured.

Wow, a punjabi. They have always been my favourites. also I like jats a lot. have you seen this vijendra guy, the one who won that bronze in olympics for india. I lust for his body but wo bahut oonchi cheez hai (not accessible).

Okays coming to R now.

I have just talked to him now. He is a 30 years old married but genuine guy.

he opened his heart to me and so did I. Since most of the days I have talked to him from inside the office premises, we couldn't talk about sex a lot. but yes whatever I talked was satisfying. He asked my stats and was a bit impressed. not that I have that bobby darling kind of looks. In fact I hate to have such things. Even though I am a bit feminine, I don't want to make an outward show of the same. I have to live like a normal guy in the public and so all gayish behaviours inside the sex room only.

okz ending now. wish me luck that R stays in my life for a little long. I don't want to lose him just with a sex. I want to talk to him...chalo will talk to about those things some other day.