Have you ever come through a situation where your wishes get fulfilled and you are not satisfied? The dissatisfaction is because there is another wish that’s on top of your mind at that particular point of time.

I am going through a similar situation these days.

At times, I was so angry at my schedule that I would crave for a break. Now I have ample time to myself, but I am not satisfied. Because right now finding a new job is on top of my mind.

The company that I have been working for around two years now is closing down. January month’s salary is still due. We have yet not taken the February month’s salary into account.

Not that this happened all of a sudden. The symptoms of the company headed towards closure could be felt as early as October, when our appraisals were postponed without any notice. The recession was in full swing and everyone thought that it’s better to continue getting salaries than being laid off like the lakhs of people working in top notch companies. Also our organisation was not asking for salary cuts like some companies in news. Also none of the business models, the company tried, had been profitable (will not go into these details).

But I knew that it is high time to change now. This was still October. I started looking for job opportunities. But the job market had taken a hit because of the economic slowdown, particularly the IT sector was too cautious at hiring. Besides the boss was so fussy about leaves that it was quite difficult to schedule interviews. Many a times I missed a job opportunity because the recruiter wanted me to come on a weekday and I vouched for a Saturday. Also, as our company started some new initiatives, I thought we have bought some time for job search.

But the sky fell on me on the fourth week of January.

During an informal meeting boss asked me to start searching job. At first, I couldn’t believe my ears. Is boss asking me to search job? My first reaction was of happiness. Finally, I can go for interviews without any need for explanation to boss. But soon I realised that something bad has happened to the organisation. “How many days, sir”, I asked as if enquiring about a patient on deathbed. He didn’t give an answer and the colleague came out of his cabin with a shock on his face. The news spread like fire all over the organisation and a gloom pervaded.

The news about delayed salaries for January was divulged on the last day of the month.

At first my parents were shocked to hear this news. They had been listening to these news regularly on news channels. Now it had taken a toll of their own. A day later they decided to assure me to not fret. “You can easily get another job. Also what responsibilities you have to be so disappointed at job loss. Think of all those people who have a family to look after”, they said.

I know I have no responsibility. But once you become independent, it is so very difficult to fall back on your parents. Neither my parents, nor my brothers will ever cringe at fending for me. But I have grown up and I have a self esteem. I can’t go back to my parents and sit there doing nothing.

I have taken up to job search with a greater force now. Updated my resume on major job portals. Made changes in the resume to make it more attractive and leverage my skills.

But it is quite late now. At least that is what comes out of my week long job search.

The job market looks exhausted. Recruiters who used to be constant hindrance with their job calls seldom call these days. Each time the cell phone rings, I take it up with the thought of encountering the recruiter.

Salaries have become stickier subjects these days. When you disclose your salary, the hiring managers look disappointed. When you propose to cut your salary (to somehow get the job), they look at you with suspicion.

Most job portals have the same jobs for weeks. Companies are not hiring.

The recession is far from over. It is predicted to last until 2010 and the impact of it will pervade until the next two years. And I was thinking of job searching when the market improved a bit.

It has been 12 days in February and I still have no job in hand. I haven’t given resignation from my present company, although I am not attending office regularly.

Was planning to go home in February end, but think it will be better to postpone the plans right now. It will be so embarrassing to face people with an unemployment tag. Even in good times I am not that much of a people’s man. Only yesterday, my sister-in-law was complaining that I talk so little to her these days. Everyone thinks I am depressed about not getting jobs. Brother suggested that I go back to parents for a change. But I will not want to go now. Maybe I miss some of the interview calls.

Let’s see what has god in store for me. Until now life has been a cake walk for me. Never did I have to fret over a thing for long. Opportunities came up and I took them up without much questioning. Yes, there have been times when Life is threatened to be stalled. But I have let time to make path for me. Wasn’t I very tensed at the thought of contracting AIDS? Then I underwent a test and I was given a clean chit. Similarly the college authorities threatened to reject my candidature for exams. But when I went to submit the exam forms, they accepted it happily, not even charging a penalty. At first, he couldn’t believe his ears. Is boss asking him to search job? His first reaction was of happiness. Finally he can go for interviews without any need for explanation to boss. But soon he realised that something bad has happened to the organisation. May be I will tide over this situation as well. But when will it be is the question that is raging over in my head.