One day when I was in S's room, I heard how Neeraj used to sleep naked and his large blackish organ would peep out of the blanket in the morning. Although it was a fairly normal talk for a normal gathering of boys, it stirred the gay in me. 

But I never got a chance to size him until one day. 

S liked to go check different places. He talked me into accompanying him to Harishchandragadh, a four hour journey from Pune. On the D-day, I was expecting a huge group, but it turned out to be just S, Neeraj and me. 

The Maharashtra State bus was to take-off at 1.30 in the night. While S took his place near the conductor, Neeraj and I sat on one of the front seats. The bus was otherwise empty. As soon as the bus left the bus stand, the driver turned off all lights. The only lights now were from the vehicles coming from the other side.  

S and Neeraj began to doze of as soon as they hit the seats. I cannot sleep while on a moving bus. Tired of looking at the dark outside, it suddenly hit me if I can touch Neeraj. 

Once that realisation dawned on me, I could think of no other. 

Slowly I closed my eyes and moved closer towards Neeraj. This works like an alibi since you can always tell that you were sleeping and not responsible for your subconscious actions. 

First I moved my hand over his thighs. When there was no reaction, I got encouraged to move it closer to his organs. Just then there was a brilliant light from the other side and I pulled off. When it was dark again, I once again put my hands, this time straight on his groin. There was no reaction again. Good for me, since I can further size him up in the meanwhile. But Neeraj didn't react that entire night. Could he be sleeping all through the ordeal? May be. May be not. 

The next day was a hectic trek. Harishchandragadh was a 25km trek up on several steep hills overlooking deep gullies. We spent the night at caves built at the foothills of Sahyadri. A local resident helped us with hot blankets and carpet. But this was too less for the three of us. S would always snatch a major part of the blanket leaving the two of us cold. Since I was sleeping in between S and Neeraj, I was at a relative advantage. The day's trek had a toll on us and we felt asleep very soon. 

At night I was woken from sleep when I felt someone hugging me tightly. He was in his undies and had a hard on his organs. Although I prayed to God that it is Neeraj, I didn't know if it really was him. It was dark inside the cave and I had lost my sense of direction being abruptly woken from sleep. As I moved my hand on his body, I was pretty sure that it was he. 

So Neeraj had been all awake through the bus journey. 

I gave myself to him. The darkness of the cave was the perfect setting to make love. 

Later when we returned from our trip, he came one night when my roommate was out to Mumbai. We spent the whole night trying new things and I was craving for more.

Months elapsed before I actually got a chance to sleep with him. 

It was a sunday evening and I was all alone at home. He came looking around for my brother just then. 

Somewhere deep in my heart I had this feeling that this was my last chance to have him. I knew he would go if told that my brother isn't at home. Instead I said that he has just gone round the corner. He agreed to wait and I knew my chance was still there. 

But making the move has always been a weakness for me. There he was sitting just half a metre away on the bed next to mine. But I wasn't getting the words and courage to approach him. I could feel the shivering in my hands and feet. Not that I feared that he might complain to my brother. When the urge for sex becomes stronger, one often doesn't think of consequences. 

Half an hour elapsed and I still wasn't able to say him the right words. 

Just then he signalled that he must go since it has been very long. I could see my world falling apart. Will I miss the golden opportunity to sleep with this hunk? No, I will die if I miss it now after coming so close to it. 

Words can be dangerous. They seldom come at the right time. So I decided to find recourse in action. 

As Raj Kumar rose to go, I approached him and said, "I want to see yours". Saying this I moved my hands over his zipper. 

Now the ball was in his court. And I waited for his reaction. 

He was shocked. 

"Why do you want to see mine? It's the same as yours."

That's a question difficult to answer. You can well say that you are a gay and you like doing it with men. 

But that answer can land you in trouble if the other party decides to not accept your proposal and worse publicise your pervertness. 

Instead it is much easier to look confused and keep beating about the bush. I did the same. 

"Okays but not today. I will come tomorrow", he said. 

My happiness knew no bounds. It was like I had acheived a feat. 

Only if I had seen him (his organs) once. Patience pays, I consoled myself. 

The next day was alone for me again. I was eagerly awaiting Raj Kumar. The previous night I fantasised him in my dreams. When he didn't come until lunch, I gave up on his visit. Maybe he is one of those guys who miss such a great pleasure thinking of ethics. 

That afternoon, I slept with a heavy heart. 

There was a knock on the door. I thought I was dreaming. When the knocks continued, I went to the door and there he was. 

I didn't know how to react. Finally my dream of months was going to be realised. I would be able to feel the touch and smell of Raj Kumar, the guy who I fantasised almost every day during those months. 

I asked him to come inside and locked the door. Today he sat beside me instead of the other bed. Both of us didn't know how to start the conversation. It was he who made the start. 

But what he said came as a shock. He began lecturing me on ethics and normality. "Hey, I know them and have not been waiting for you to hear these", I wanted to say to him. But I kept my cool. Deep in my heart I had this feeling that he was here because he wanted the same thing as me, not to lecture me. An hour slid by before we did anything. 

Finally frustrated with the rhetoric, I said, "Okays we can forget about what happened yesterday evening if you want. I will think I never met you". This did the trick. He quickly said that he didn't want to forget me as well. 

"Wow I have been waiting to hear this from you the entire afternoon", I joked and we hugged each other.