Months elapsed before I actually got a chance to sleep with him. 

It was a sunday evening and I was all alone at home. He came looking around for my brother just then. 

Somewhere deep in my heart I had this feeling that this was my last chance to have him. I knew he would go if told that my brother isn't at home. Instead I said that he has just gone round the corner. He agreed to wait and I knew my chance was still there. 

But making the move has always been a weakness for me. There he was sitting just half a metre away on the bed next to mine. But I wasn't getting the words and courage to approach him. I could feel the shivering in my hands and feet. Not that I feared that he might complain to my brother. When the urge for sex becomes stronger, one often doesn't think of consequences. 

Half an hour elapsed and I still wasn't able to say him the right words. 

Just then he signalled that he must go since it has been very long. I could see my world falling apart. Will I miss the golden opportunity to sleep with this hunk? No, I will die if I miss it now after coming so close to it. 

Words can be dangerous. They seldom come at the right time. So I decided to find recourse in action. 

As Raj Kumar rose to go, I approached him and said, "I want to see yours". Saying this I moved my hands over his zipper. 

Now the ball was in his court. And I waited for his reaction. 

He was shocked. 

"Why do you want to see mine? It's the same as yours."

That's a question difficult to answer. You can well say that you are a gay and you like doing it with men. 

But that answer can land you in trouble if the other party decides to not accept your proposal and worse publicise your pervertness. 

Instead it is much easier to look confused and keep beating about the bush. I did the same. 

"Okays but not today. I will come tomorrow", he said. 

My happiness knew no bounds. It was like I had acheived a feat. 

Only if I had seen him (his organs) once. Patience pays, I consoled myself. 

The next day was alone for me again. I was eagerly awaiting Raj Kumar. The previous night I fantasised him in my dreams. When he didn't come until lunch, I gave up on his visit. Maybe he is one of those guys who miss such a great pleasure thinking of ethics. 

That afternoon, I slept with a heavy heart. 

There was a knock on the door. I thought I was dreaming. When the knocks continued, I went to the door and there he was. 

I didn't know how to react. Finally my dream of months was going to be realised. I would be able to feel the touch and smell of Raj Kumar, the guy who I fantasised almost every day during those months. 

I asked him to come inside and locked the door. Today he sat beside me instead of the other bed. Both of us didn't know how to start the conversation. It was he who made the start. 

But what he said came as a shock. He began lecturing me on ethics and normality. "Hey, I know them and have not been waiting for you to hear these", I wanted to say to him. But I kept my cool. Deep in my heart I had this feeling that he was here because he wanted the same thing as me, not to lecture me. An hour slid by before we did anything. 

Finally frustrated with the rhetoric, I said, "Okays we can forget about what happened yesterday evening if you want. I will think I never met you". This did the trick. He quickly said that he didn't want to forget me as well. 

"Wow I have been waiting to hear this from you the entire afternoon", I joked and we hugged each other.